Sunday, December 16, 2012

Falling on my face... Literally

So Thursday came along and I was having a good week, already 6 miles under my belt, did all of my planned p90x workouts and was feeling awesome with the great weather we were having.  So I set out to walk to the post office to mail my nephews their xmas gifts to North Carolina and then take a run which would of been followed by yoga.  I say would of if about a half mile into my run I decided to get in a fight with the sidewalk and the sidewalk won!! 

Bruised Knee

Banged up nose
  My hip and rib on opposite sides of my body also have bruises.  All I know is one minute I was running at a comfortable 9 min mile pace or so and the next I was laid out on the ground.  I nice man stopped who had seen me fall and asked if I was okay and at that point I wasn't sure if I was. No blood but lots of pain I told him I was only a quarter mile from home and would turn around and head there and thanked him for stopping.

Been in a little pain for the last few days which kept me from doing any running or P90x.  I am going to give it an attempt tomorrow.  I do not think anything is seriously hurt but if the pain in my rib and nose don't go away in a week I will go get it check out.  For now I am going to do some reading because I don't have an early bedtime tonight!!  Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Working and working out!!

Work is long and stressful right now.  Working 60-70 hours a week and dealing with people who are not in as much as a holiday spirit as I am!  That is right I am in the holiday mood; I want to buy presents, I want to decorate and I want to sing lots of Christmas carol, all while being in a great jolly mood.  But it seems like not all my customers are that way.  Hopefully I can rub off on them because I haven't been this way for a long time.  Go Holidays!!!  Now where is our first snow?!

As for working out, yesterday I did a 3 mile run(before it got cold) followed by P90X Plyo and today was some P90X shoulders and arms.  I received my month supply of Shakeology today which is great for late night dinners.  My goal is to be down 5 lbs by the new year which should be simple.

For now it is bed time because I have to be up for Target in less then 6 hours.  Night.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Quick cause I am spent!

Just a quick one cause I am beyond tired.  Work is exhausting this time of year!  We are forever busy which isn't a bad thing for a commissioned based sales person!! This morning I  got a good 3 mile run in followed by some p 90x Chest and back.  I wish the weather can stay like this all winter  but I know eventually I will have to wear winter gear.  For now I am off to bed so I can get another run in the morning while it is still 50 something!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

ReStarting p90x

I will be restarting P 90x in the morning along with starting marathon  training.  Time to get on track.  Expect to hear alot from me.  I need to stop wasting time and getting things done, like life!!  LOL I will be starting this book list 20 something reads with a couple book of my own added (picking some up from library in morn).  Got a run in yesterday 4 miles.  It has been pretty nice weather wise for November   Today I was lazy and watched a few movies (Brother and Magic Mike) and sat around all day.  For now bed and waking up early to get some cleaning done and my run in when the sun comes up.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

My View on Politics

Do not expect anything philosophical here.  That thing is I do not actually have any views on politics.  Sure I have opinions and thoughts.  These thing may line up with one side of the fence more then an other but when it comes down to it I do not identify myself with any side.  I an not an openly opinionated person unless provoked to be so.  In reality the whole election thing scares me .  Every four years we the candidates start campaigning and we all complain about the commercials and the billboards and the hoopla, yet we are all entwined in it no matter how political we are.  People fight and friends do not get along because there realize that the person they have known may have a different opinion then them.  Then election come and we have a new president and we argue for a few more days or weeks.  Then we are all back to normal again. We do not fight about politics daily and we are still friends with the people we despised during the months leading up to the elections.  For me I wake up every morning and pray.  I pray for my family.  I pray for my friends,  I pray for my coworkers.  I pray for the leadership of our country (no matter who that may be).  It scares me how intense people are during this time but not always.  If everyone had that much passion throughout all four year then the world would be a better place.  I am not just calling out all the crazy political people we all have somewhere or something we can show that much passion about.  I hope to do it in all aspects of my life and would challenge you to do the same.  Okay maybe I go a little philosophical there.  Off to make some dinner and watch Fame.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Second Week of P90x done

Today is the last day of my second week of P 90X.  Half way into the first month and I like it.  What I like the most is it feels like something different everyday.  I haven't lost any weight but my diet has not been 100 percent either.  No surprise there but I will step it up.  It has been a crazy week with Sandy starting off my week with two days of no power.  I know that is the smallest of what has happened int the country but it was  not fun.  I am going to have a movie night this evening and drink some wine.  Tomorrow is the first dry forecast in a while and I plan on getting a run in the morning.  Then I am dressing up to do something who care what but I feel like dressing up!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Fear of Failure

So one of the things I have learned over the past year is that I have a fear of failure!  I read about it a lot on blogs so I know I am not alone.  But that is the thing we all think we are alone, trying so hard not to fail one another and ourselves.  There are days when I put on the face of the woman who is going to conquer the world!  My daddy always told me I could if I want to. That is the thing you have to want to.  Maybe it is not just a "face" and maybe those are the days I want to.  The other days are lost within all the fight of wanting to.

I had a customer that I sold some things to get me excited about conquering the world again.  He was a father like figure (probably around the same age mine would of been)  and he smiled the whole time he worked with me.  I felt open to tell him about my dreams and make the truthful statement that I believe I will make a difference in this world one day.  He told me of an idea he had and that I would be the perfect person to help with it.  He didn't get in to much detail about the idea but made it sound like something that he had been working on for a long time and hadn't told many people about.  We exchanged contacts and said we would makes plans someday down the line. This was a few months ago and I have see the customer a few times since and he always gives me that same smile and suggestion of conquering the world with him.

This may never, and most likely wont, pan out to be anything but it does get me thinking.  If I can get one completely stranger, whom I am trying to sell something to mind you, believe in me within a 30 min time span, think about with I can do with the next 70 years of my life.

It is crazy thinking about what I could do if I put that "face" on everyday.  Will it become less of a face a more of who I am.  That has got to be the answer.  It is that time of year; Halloween, where we all put masks on to be someone/something else.  It time for me to dress up and to never take the costumer off or we can also think of it as taking the old one off and putting one a new one.

Okay.  I off gotten off on a metaphorical tangent now and do not want to bore you any longer.  For real though, failure will always be there and fearing it may be alright but I can not let it hold me back anymore.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


Time again for a blog revamp!!  I am on vacation and thinking about getting life organized again.  I have learned so much this year and I believe that 2013 is going to show everything I have learned.  Look forward to hearing about my P90x results (I just started this week), training for my Iron Man and the fun that is my job at Verizon!!  I think that I will be a lot more open to just right whatever on here now and not try to be so form fitting like I have in the past.  I hope to gain some people who read but will not dwell on it.  I do need help with my design because I suck at that stuff.  For now I am in a musical mood because I saw Pitch Perfect (loved it) and I am going to see what musicals I have on DVD. Maybe Rent is in order?  More to come....

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


So this post has been a long time coming.  I have been putting it off just like a thousand other things in my life.  I read a fantastic book about a month ago: MWF Seeking BFF and got me thinking a lot about why I do not have many any friends.  I really only have a handful of people that I let close.  It all boils down to my biggest fear, being alone.  Weird predicament to put yourself in; right, not having any friend but being afraid of loneliness.  But it is just that I put myself in the situation where I push people away.  It is not the normal ignoring people or not trying to make/keep friends. Oh no I try hard to get people to not be friends with me.  The thing is, it's not just about being lonely, I don't want to be hurt.  Lots of trust issues have stemmed from when I was young and seen my siblings go though a lot of their crap.  I always talk about how much I've learned from them but in reality a large part of me has learned fear.

It's about not being disappointed in the end: finding out you boyfriend cheated, your best friend finds many other best friends, siblings screw something up again, your mother needing to be mothered, the coworkers lie and those acquaintances talk behind your back.  So instead of waiting for them to disappoint, I do it first.  I find a way to fail so that there is no one else but myself to blame even if.

I am done with this type of mentality!  I feel I have disappointed some in my life and most of all I continue to disappoint myself.  I will continue to be alone if I do not stop making excuses and live like your are supposed to live, to the fullest.

This was supposed to be the year of me, I got my own place, I have a decent job, I am trying to figure out what I want to do with my future but I haven't tried like I said I would.  I have already disappointed some in my life and I am ready to prove otherwise.

Here is to a fresh start.  No more excuses.  Time to get it done.  I recently stumbled upon a great video and plan on getting the book very soon but my favorite part of this video is where she says make your mantra: I will figure it out.  Getting rid of the I don't know what to dos and stating right here:

I will figure it out!!!!

Monday, February 6, 2012

music monday

Been sick!  Be back soon.  For now some lyrics:

"Let That Be Enough" Switchfoot

I wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land

And all I see
It could never make me happy
And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough

It's my birthday tomorrow
No one here could know
I was born this Thursday
22 years ago

And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he's needy

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Serious Sunday

So after a hard to hear conversation with my boyfriend (we have alot of there)  over dinner last night, I have decided that I do not try.  Essentially we were talking about the choices we make in life and how he got to where he is compared to where I am in life.  Mind you I am a little younger but I am 50 thousand dollars plus in debt and only the choices I made in life have lead me to there.  Now that is all past I can not really dwell on what I have done when I need to fix what I can keep doing.

  So I have come to the conclusion that I do not try.  Others may think differently they see how successful I am at things and no doubt I have done good with my life.  But is it the best?  No way!   I give medium effort to get by not being at the bottom of the totem pole.   I am very proud of everything I have accomplished (ie college running a marathon, raising money for charity) but in my mind I could of been my best at it.   I could have trained harder, I could of played better and I could of studied (period).  I know I can not be perfect.

For once I have new year resolution that is worth something.  I am going to TRY!!!  Instead of sitting back and waiting for thing to fall into the right place I am going to put all my effort into things and see what the outcome.  I am pretty positive that it will be a great one.  So here is to 2012!  I promise you will be reading more from me  because I will be trying more at everything including this blog!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Music Monday

I am back and ready to attack 2012 like no othere year before. I have said it before but i really think that this will be the year to top all others!  I can only imagaine what it will bring. I have so many plans for the year and do not want to let anyone or thing get in the way of me completing all of my goals! Here are some lyrics. I had a bumpy NYE but I believe it is ok.  I can only make my year better everyday  More to come about the new and old year.  I have a lot of catching up to do!  Song and lyrics from Switchfoot:

Is this the New Year or just another night?
Is this the new fear or just another fright?
Is this the new tear or just another desperation?

Is this the finger or just another fist?
Is this the kingdom or just a hit n' miss?
A misdirection, most in all this desperation

Is this what they call freedom?
Is this what you call pain?
Is this what they call discontented fame?

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in

I'm singing this one like a broken piece of glass
From broken arms an' broken noses in the back
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

You're pushing till you're shoving
You bend until you break
Till you stand on the broken fields where our fathers lay

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in

There's nothing here worth saving,
Is no one here at all?
Is there any net left that could break our fall?

It'll be a day like this one
When the sky falls down and the hungry and poor and deserted are found
Are you discontented? Have you been pushing hard?
Have you been throwing down this broken house of cards?

It'll be a day like this one
When the world caves in
When the world caves in
When the world caves in

Is there nothing left now?
Nothing left to sing
Are there any left who hasn't kiss the enemy?
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

Does justice never find you? Do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?